When I think about trust and what it means to me, I always go to the relationships in my life and my firm belief in the reliability, truth and honesty about my feelings, emotions and confidence in the other person to feel the same way. Often in my romantic relationships throughout my lifetime, they have not been that romantic, as the fairy-tale never materialized, always kissing more frogs than I wish to remember, in order to find a Prince against unimaginable odds. I did manage to get sucked into the mid-30s, on the shelf Bridget Jones moment when I married for the wrong reasons and a biological clock ticking in my mind reminding me my fertility days were numbered.
Once I settled into the routine and somewhat drudgery of the Mr and Mrs Coupledom existence, I soon realized having a child was not such a good idea after all, my fertility days were already over, having been told by my GP, my fallopian tubes were blocked and damaged. I did consider having IVF treatment under pressure from my then husband but just didn't want it enough to stick needles in my leg twice a day, so inevitably all trust was broken and the relationship failed.
I am sure if we were all honest and truthful, love can be “a many splendid thing” as it emerges but can have a bitter sweet twist when it ends and this is because often, love is confused with lust, peer pressure and desperation in loneliness, all things with destructive consequences. In my wise opinion based on a lifetime living outside the box where common sense rules and tradition is a human condition to avoid like the plague, real love is only possible with another person, once you have worked out how to love yourself. Like everything else in life, you only know what you know until you know something else, so it makes sense you cannot love someone else unless you know how to love yourself.
I like to take this concept of loving myself to the next level and there I find, loving someone else impossible because unless the other person mirror images what I love, there is no point in compromising, the one thing essential in any partnership and I guess the reason why I am happily single.
Photo by: Jason Briscoe