I had the most amazing, exciting meeting with the lovely Sinitta last week. We have been talking for a while on Twitter and when I sent her some of my perfect black leggings she fell in love with them and asked me to her home to make a film to promote the PBL on her new website.
We ended up talking about life, love and the universe and I mentioned to her that I had decided to be celibate and she got me to thinking why some people think celibacy is really old fashioned even as more and more celebrities are choosing to say no to sex.
If you go back to the 50’s when I was born it was unheard of to be promiscuous, women had babies and stayed at home and men were the bread winners and I guess after the war stability and family was what everybody wanted. These days I have to hear stunning girls with everything going for them telling me she gave her heart and it got trampled on by a cheat and then watch them go back for more.
With the 60s and the 70s came a complete change and publicly being sexual with any Tom Dick and Harry was acceptable and actually considered quite cool and hip. In the 70’s myself I led a very care free sexually active life yet having a relationship was about as exciting as watching paint dry.
These days after talking to many young people in my capacity as a life coach it seems sexual behaviour is being driven by the internet, porn, dating apps with little guidance from wise experienced parents. And the free love movement of the 70's has retained the quick to jump into bed approach packaged in a not so monogamous relationship, usually and I am not judging on his part.
Talking to a group of young boys the other day aged between 9 and 12 I asked them what would be their ideal job and the general consensus was quite alarming.
More than half said they wanted to be a porn star when they grew up because you don’t need qualifications, you don’t need experience, the pay is fantastic and you get to shag women all day long.
Talking to the same age group of girls they all felt under pressure to have bigger breasts, no pubic hair and that sleeping with boys was the only way to be popular.
It may be old fashioned to say no, keep your knickers on and wait until you are ready but in my opinion being old fashioned isn’t such a bad thing if it gets you the desired result in the end, happiness. You can block out those walk of shame feelings as much as you like in exchange for the temporary insane high you get from sex with someone you barely know but for me the power to say no these days is way more fulfilling long term.
Being celibate for me has allowed me to focus on my true purpose because sex for sex sake, like all other addictions can take you down and keep you away from discovering who you really are.
I am not saying I’ll never do it again but for the time being I am happy to save that part of myself for me.
Photo by: Womanizer WOW Tech Unsplash