Is sex addictive? Sex is one of our most powerful instincts according to Freud, the most powerful of desires better known as ultimate temptation.
If we are able to take sex out of our lives we are left with little neurosis. The desire to have instant satisfaction, just like the cream cake, disappears.
So why is sex addictive and celibacy unappealing?
The feeling we get with sex is no different to chocolate. Sex produces a chemical called dopamine in our reward centre in our brain. Venus Cow calls it the Love Drug, the most powerful of all intoxicating feelings on the planet.
The more we do it the more we want it, just like any other addiction.
The key to remember is men and women naturally react very differently both to sex and after sex. There are some distinct biological differences in the bridge between the right and left side of the brain that explain these behavioural differences.
The brutal truth is, Women think they have a boyfriend after sex, men think they have to go.
If you are in a happy, long term monogamous relationship sex is healthy. If you are getting pissed every Friday night and ending up in bed with random people, sex is unhealthy, especially now, when STD’s are on the increase and teen pregnancy is out of control.
Random sex will only make you happy in the moment but sooner or later if you are female, you will want more from the person you are having sex with. For women if the terms of your sexual contract are not laid out ahead of time you will likely end up feeling resentful and unhappy. Men are wired to spread sperm. That doesn't mean they cannot be faithful. They have to make a conscious choice to be faithful, why it is essential for women to give nothing of themselves away until sure.
Choosing celibacy or self love can be the perfect way to attract men if that is your aim. Girls who keep their knickers on are unable to beat men off with a stick. We always want what we cannot have.
Male or female, your body deserves respect. Your whole being is valuable and not to be given freely or easily because it will make you feel good in the moment, men get into all kinds of trouble taking sex from women in the moment
Venus Cow says "That may be but it's only a moment"
She's doing it, in order for her, the female to land you, the man of her dreams.
Venus Cow says “Urban myth.”
Give up sex for one year and see what happens. When you stop looking outward and start looking inward, sex will be the last thing on your mind, you'll be too busy loving yourself. Like all other things you do unconsciously without any thought because you believe it is the route to your happiness, break the habit and prepare to amaze yourself.
Make a plan to next time, get to know someone really well before you think about having sex with them and chances are you’ll find yourself, celibate (not religiously) by default.
I can tell you for a fact, ladies if you want to be romanced, the more you say no, the harder men work, they absolutely love the chase and isn't that the best bit anyway?
Photo by: Laura Chouette