When you have been fortunate, successful the shock of losing your money and then your home is so prolific it is virtually impossible to shift your aspiration into line with your circumstances. Focusing your attention on things you desire, shopping out of your price range, aspiring things you have no hope of ever achieving in the short term will cause you to become depressed.
I mastered acceptance of my situation quickly considering how dramatic my fall actually was. I have never been a dreamer with a tendency to bury my head. I recognised how brutal it was managing emotions when even small things like enjoying a cup of coffee in a cool cafe something I'd take for granted was no longer something I could afford. Aspiration was the first thing I looked into deeply. I was a shopaholic driven to buy but without the means. So always resourceful even in adversity I began to seek out new ways to do things, get things, live my life. Over time I managed to lower my expectations and what resulted was attainable aspiration, basically clever ways to reframe my thinking and desires, to deliver positive outcomes and happy feelings despite my personal circumstances.
In lockdown we have seen when simple daily pleasures and indulgences are taken away how adversely our collective mental health is affected.
What is attainable aspiration?
Venus Cow says “Change the way you think about things and the things you get will change.”
For me it was all about changing the way I thought about everything to avoid those distructive feelings of anger and disappointment which, when you've lost as much money as I did through greed and stupidity, come over you like a tsunami. These days attainable aspiration it's one of the first tools I teach people in my free life coaching sessions.
I learned quicky by changing the way I spoke to myself, more kindly in the beginning and with compassion and empathy. Being conscious of the words I used I gradually over time was able to change the way I felt about my predicament and Attainable Aspiration was born.
For me the definition of attainable aspiration;
The act of aspiring to things that were actually possible like losing weight and feeling great.
I consciously put aside the yearning for fancy cars and luxurious mansions in the sort term. And then trained my brain when I found myself drifting off into fantasy land, or chasitising myself to divert to what was true and real for me in the here and now.
Example:
Action. I am going to lose weight.
The work. Eat less, more healthily, exercise, have the desire to achieve your goal.
The result. A happy person.
Changing the way we think about ourselves and not worrying about what others think of us is the place to start your journey to attainable aspiration whatever your goal might be. If eating, smoking or drinking yourself to death is preferable in your mind to a long healthy happy life it is time to change the way you think. But for those already able to admit deep down the truth, that being alive is a gift and being happy makes sense, it is time for some goal setting.
The definition of insanity is to repeat the same behaviour and expect a different result but grasping this concept is not enough to catch your subconscious behaviour before it happens. You have to be living in the moment to do that, not on auto pilot where most of us exist and this takes practise. Giving up any habit, addiction or behaviour pattern long term is impossible unless you change the way you think.
It's time to change the record.
If you wake up and the first thing you do to get you going is have a strong coffee and a fag, but you tell people you are a non smoker, social smoker, after dinner smoker, you are deluding yourself. It is just a habit you cannot even own or admit to and you are going nowhere.
If the first thing you do is go for a walk in the fresh air you'll feel empowered naturally, the simple change in your behaviour will change the rest of your day and how you feel about yourself and you certainly won't have any problems confessing this positive behaviour pattern remaining true to yourself.
I do a daily walk. Time alone to think just about you and your goals is your destination to attainable aspiration. Watch what you say to yourself and choose your words wisely. Your subconscious is a computer that remembers everything you feed it so learn to frame your thoughts in a positive and honest way remembering your thoughts are NOT facts.
What ever you think, whatever you feel, lose the fake and keeps what’s real.
We come into this world alone with nothing and we leave alone with nothing. What we do in the middle is the drama of our lives. So make it exciting, adventurous and meaningful.
I have learnt since losing my fortune, money is a fantastic tool when used well and wisely but master attainable aspiration and you'll see money and the power of money in a completely different way. Don’t waste anymore time stuck in a rut. Don't waste anymore money on anything you cannot afford in the belief it will make you happy, it won't.
You can do whatever you set your mind to do even without money, I am living proof of that. You are unique, a one off. No one else has any of the answers for you, only the wisdom, if you listen, to get you through. The rest is up to you.