Anger and resentment are the reasons we can blow a gasket unexpectedly at the smallest thing. It is not the small thing that has bothered us, that doesn't warrant the response, it's a build up of incorrect subconscious programming over time that has to be dealt with in self therapy or talk therapy.
We've all heard of Anger Management, they have even made a Hollywood Movie but for those sufferring from internalised anger or emotional angry outburst, managing anger is no walk in the park. If you are angry, you must get to the bottom of what is making you unhappy. People who suffer with anger issues will also suffer with stress, anxiety and often insomnia.
There is no softer pillow than a clear conscience.
Venus Cow says, "Never go to bed angry or resentful if you want to get rest."
There is no point in giving and being generous to others, if you resent it afterwards leaving you bitter and angry at yourself. We have to give freely always if we want to be happy. When happiness is your aim giving is never about what you get back in return, it’s about making you feel good inside. Helping others without reward is one of the true secrets to being happy because when we give something of ourselves, it’s because we can and therefore becomes a selfless act. Negative resentment about our own appearance, our bodies, our hair color, is resentment against ourselves, yet we are able to do something about this. So getting angry because you are fat and want to be thinner or brunette and want to be blond is an unnecessary, self indulgent pastime.
Venus Cow says, "Don’t waste time wishing, do some work on yourself."
If you have been wronged and life has not been fair, bitterness will stem from this and can leave you both mentally and physically ill, as well as spiritually sick, so anger and resentment must be removed from your life forever. To do this we have to learn to give without thanks and let go of anger, which is hard but possible.
Try writing down a list of all the things in your life which have made you feel resentful and angry, like divorce, work, lack of promotion, beliefs, politics etc, anything that is unresolved in your mind. Now try to look at why things have happened that have made you really upset and if you can objectively looking the part you may have played. Everything happens for a reason, think cause and effect.
By putting out of our mind the wrongs others have done temporarily, we can look to our own mistakes and then start to discover where we might be going wrong.
Venus Cow says, "Stop being frozen in time by going over what has already passed and gone. Listen to the great philosophers in life and learn something new about you."
Once again the best tool to dissect and manage intense feelings of hurt, anger and resentment is meditation. The best time to practise is first thing in the morning but can be used effectively to diffuse and deal with negative feelings before you go to sleep so your mind is clear to enjoy restful and rejuvanating sleep.
Blame and resentment is a complete waste of time. No matter how many faults you find with others, it will never change who you are. Getting angry, projecting that negative emotion outwards as your release is a temporary fix to a more permanent problem inside your mind.
Making someone feel guilty or bad because you are resentful and angry may make you feel like you are bigger and stronger in the moment but won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is ultimately making you feel very unhappy.
Photo by: Marco Jimenez