Fear is crippling and stops you doing many things that could in reality be the key to your happiness.
Robert Frost said “The only way out is through.”
What makes us feel fear and what is it?
Fear of consequences stems from a knowing you've done something wrong, told a lie, people of good character take courage in the ownership of their actions and say sorry. Irrational fear is something else entirely and often takes therapy to dig out the root cause.
If you change the way you look at things the things you look at will change. Let’s take fear of the unknown to begin with. If you have never been on an aeroplane because you are afraid of flying, chances are you can make a good case to justify your reasons.
Fear of crashing, fear of death.
We are notoriously good and fearing the worst case scenario however when we look at our lives from the perpective of gratitude, even when something terrible happens, it can always have been worse.
The truth is; the worst that could happen rarely does. Ask yourself how many people you know who have died in a plane crash and recognise the fear you have comes from something completely different. If you were on a ship that sank leaving you completely stranded alone on a desert island with no other people or food and a plane landed to fly you home, fear would not be an option, you'd naturally feel gratitude instead.
Think for a moment about the phrase - If it's a problem money can fix, it isn't a problem. This is a great way of giving our troubles some different and less threatening perspective.
To face fear you have to understand it. If you decide to give up eating cream cakes because you fear high cholesterol, this is a positive fear. We fear old age but there is nothing we can do about it; irrational fear. Then there is fear of failure which destroys success yet we can only ever learn from our mistakes. And mistakes something none of us can avoid.
Winners never quit because quitters never win. The secret to success is to double your failure rate and be proud that you are never giving up. Never be afraid to make a mistake. Count your mistakes like blessing in the knowledge everytime you make one you've learnt something new.
Irrational fear can stem from a childhood traumatic event or early life experience such as embarrassment or bullying. But bullies are just cowards in disguise and fear is a feeling not a reality.
Do something today you would normally avoid like the plague. Having a go is the only way to build courage. Tell your boss you deserve promotion and why, what's the worse that could happen, he or she says no. Go on the underground two stops if you suffer from claustrophobia. And if you cannot overcome your fear alone, ask a friend along for moral support. Nothing is ever as scary when you are not alone.
Venus Cow says “Stand up for yourself and fear nothing or no one.”
Photo by: Annie Spratt